Healing Isn’t Linear — It’s a Spiral (And That’s Okay)

You’ve probably had this moment: one random Tuesday, the grief floods back. The anxiety you thought you’d “healed” rears its ugly head. You stare at the ceiling thinking, I thought I was done with this. Why am I back here again?

But here’s the truth: you’re not back at square one. You’re just spiraling upward. And that spiral? It’s not a failure. It’s how healing actually works.

🌀 The Myth of Linear Healing (And Why It’s So Damaging)

Let’s blame mainstream self-help and hustle culture for this one. It fed us a lie that healing is a tidy checklist:

• • Break up ✅

• • Cry it out ✅

• • Journal a few times ✅

• • Boom! You’re healed. Move on.

Except… real survivors know it doesn’t work like that. You don’t just “move on” from narcissistic abuse. This isn’t a paper cut — it’s an emotional demolition. The nervous system, self-worth, and sense of reality have all been messed with. So no, there’s no clean line out of that.

Believing recovery should be linear only leads to more self-blame when old wounds resurface. And let’s be clear — that is the abuser’s voice still echoing in your mind, whispering “You’re being dramatic. You should be over this by now.” Nah. Not today, Satan.

The Spiral Explained: You’re Revisiting From a Higher Level

Imagine healing as a spiral staircase. Each loop upward brings you back around to familiar pain — but at a different altitude.

You may cry again. You may feel triggered. But now:

• • You recognize it faster

• • You don’t stay stuck as long

• • You apply boundaries or tools that didn’t exist last time

• • You show up with more self-trust than before

That’s progress. Spiral-style.

🔥 Why Triggers Reappear (Even When You Think You’re “Done”)

Your body stores trauma. Period. Even if you’ve intellectually forgiven or understood what happened, your nervous system is like, “Cool story, but we still flinch when we hear that tone of voice.”

Common return triggers:

• • Someone mimics your ex’s manipulative phrasing

• • A smell, song, or scene brings back an emotional flashback

• • You attempt intimacy or connection and old fear slaps you back

This doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. Survivors of narcissistic abuse often live in survival mode for so long, the real work only begins once they’re physically out but still emotionally tangled.

🧘🏽‍♀️ How to Move Through the Spiral Without Losing Your Mind

Let’s talk tactics. Because spirals can feel like emotional whiplash. These tools help you stay grounded while the old waves rise and crash:

1. Name It Without Shame

Instead of saying:

“Ugh, I’m falling apart again.”

Say:

“Ah — this is a spiral moment. I’ve been here before. I’ll move through it.”

That reframe = power.

2. Track Your Spiral Patterns

Use your IMC Method™ journal or any notebook:

• • What triggered this return?

• • What’s different compared to last time?

• • What new tools did I use (even if clumsily)?

You’ll start seeing clear upward movement — even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.

3. Use Your Body as a Compass

The body often speaks first. Triggers may show up as:

• • A tight chest

• • Nausea or heaviness

• • Brain fog or sudden fatigue

Pause. Breathe. Walk. Shake it out. Move slowly and consciously. A few survivor favorites:

• • 5-5-5 breathwork (inhale 5, hold 5, exhale 5)

• • Weighted blanket naps

• • Magnesium oil or epsom salt soaks

• • Crying under your infrared sauna blanket (real ones know)

4. Don’t Over-Spiritualize It

Yes, you’re growing. But no — you didn’t manifest another narcissist as some cosmic test.

This is healing, not punishment. You’re not being sent back. You’re being given a new angle on an old wound — so you can seal it deeper.

Real Life Spiral Moments (That Don’t Mean You’re Failing)

• • You broke no contact after 6 months. Instead of spiraling into shame, you blocked them again 2 days later and journaled the guilt out of your system. THAT’S GROWTH.

• • You saw their new partner on Instagram. It made you spiral. But you didn’t self-destruct — you muted, moved, and re-centered. THAT’S GROWTH.

• • You got triggered by a Netflix character. You cried, then used a grounding tool. THAT’S GROWTH.

You don’t need perfection. You need presence and tools.

🛠️ Journal Prompt: Spiral Tracker™

Use this every time you feel like you’re “back at square one”:

1. What triggered this spiral moment?

(Memory, interaction, dream, smell, body sensation)

2. What do I feel in my body right now?

(Tightness, anxiety, fatigue, heat, tears)

3. What’s different compared to last time this came up?

(Quicker recovery, less shame, more tools, more awareness)

4. What do I need right now?

(Rest, music, venting, nature, boundaries)

5. What would the next level me do?

(Hint: even small things count)

✨ You’re Not Broken. You’re Becoming.

The spiral is sacred. It means you’re not frozen. You’re cycling. Layer by layer, you’re reclaiming space inside yourself that used to be filled with fear and manipulation.

Every time the wound reopens, you get a chance to clean it deeper. That’s not failure. That’s healing. Real, raw, messy, spiral-shaped healing.

You’re doing better than you think.

Keep going. Keep spiraling. Up.