Now Reading: Your Body Remembers — But You Can Teach It Something New
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Your Body Remembers — But You Can Teach It Something New
Your Mind May Forget — But Your Body Never Did
You may not remember the exact words, the date, or the moment it all changed.
But your body does.
It remembers the flinch. The pause. The racing heart. The way your stomach dropped like a broken elevator when they walked in the room.
And if you’ve ever said:
“I feel numb.”
“I don’t trust my instincts.”
“My body’s betraying me.”
I’ve got news: Your body isn’t the enemy.
It’s the witness. And now? It’s ready to heal.
🧬 How Trauma Gets Stored in the Body (Yes, Literally)
This isn’t just poetic language — it’s neuroscience and physiology.
When a narcissist gaslights, manipulates, shames, or explodes on you, your body reacts. But if you can’t fight or flee (which is most of us in long-term abuse), that trauma gets frozen into your nervous system.
Over time, this looks like:
- Tight chest, neck, or jaw (chronic tension)
- Gut issues, nausea, IBS
- Migraines, chronic fatigue
- Sensitivity to noise, light, touch
- Freeze/fawn responses
- Feeling numb or not present
This is your body saying, “Something bad happened, and we’re still preparing for it.”
💥 Narcissistic Abuse and Somatic Disconnection
Narcissists make you disconnect from your body by:
- Invalidating your pain (“You’re fine, stop overreacting”)
- Mocking your reactions (“Look how emotional you are”)
- Violating your boundaries (emotional, physical, or sexual)
- Creating cycles of fear and relief (trauma bonding)
So what happens? You leave your body. Not physically — but energetically.
You numb out. You dissociate. You lose trust in your gut, in your sensations, in your own damn self.
🧘 Why Somatic Healing Is the Game-Changer
Somatic = of the body.
Somatic healing reconnects you to your physical self so you can:
- Reclaim your right to feel
- Complete trauma responses stuck in your system
- Build a sense of safety from the inside out
- Stop spiraling every time your body reacts like the past is happening again
In other words: you stop just knowing you’re safe, and actually feeling it.
🛠️ How I Rewired My Body (And How You Can Too)
Here’s what worked — slowly, imperfectly, beautifully.
These aren’t performance tactics. They’re repair rituals.
1.
Body Scans: The Beginner’s Guide to Coming Home
Every morning, before grabbing my phone, I did a 60-second check-in:
“Where am I holding tension?”
“What feels heavy, hot, tight, or numb?”
“Can I breathe into it — without trying to fix it?”
This reestablished communication.
My body had been screaming for years. Now it finally had a listener.
2.
Shaking Off the Freeze (Literally)
Trauma gets stuck as frozen energy. One of the best ways to release it?
Shake. That. Shit. Out.
- Stand with knees loose
- Let your arms, shoulders, hips move how they want
- Shake for 30–60 seconds (looks silly — works magic)
- Breathe deep
- Cry/laugh/scream if it happens — that’s your body thawing
Animals do this after stress. We’ve just been taught not to.
But your nervous system? Loves it.
3.
Touch With Consent — From Yourself
I couldn’t stand to be touched for a while. So I started reintroducing it… through my own hands.
- Placing a hand on my heart
- Rubbing magnesium oil into my legs
- Massaging my scalp
- Wrapping myself in a blanket with intention
- Weighting my lap with a pillow or my weighted blanket
This built somatic trust — touch that wasn’t performative, violated, or used as manipulation.
4.
Somatic Journaling (AKA Body Talk)
Instead of just writing about what happened, I started journaling like this:
| Prompt | My Body’s Response |
|---|---|
| Where do I feel that memory? | “In my throat and lower belly.” |
| What color is that feeling? | “Dark red. Heavy.” |
| What does that part of me need right now? | “To feel protected. To rest.” |
This gave my body a voice — and that alone was revolutionary.
5.
The Recovery Trifecta: Breath, Music, Motion
When words failed, I built a ritual with these three:
- Breath: Inhale 4 / hold 4 / exhale 6
- Music: No lyrics. Just piano, drums, soundscapes.
- Motion: Rocking, swaying, pacing, or intuitive dance
Put all three together? You get a nervous system symphony.
Bonus: My infrared sauna blanket + slow beats = trauma release without even standing up.
6.
Grounding Into the Senses
When I was dissociating (you know that floaty, foggy, not-really-here feeling), I grounded by using my 5 senses:
- Touch: Texture of a blanket or ice cube
- Sight: Focusing on one color in the room
- Sound: Ambient noise or humming
- Smell: Essential oils, coffee, rain
- Taste: Sour candy, peppermint tea
The goal: remind your body you’re here, now, and it’s safe to stay.
👣 Rebuilding Trust Between You and Your Body
This part is tender, so read slow:
- You did what you had to do to survive
- If you had to numb out, leave your body, shut down? That was wisdom, not weakness
- You didn’t abandon your body — you protected it
Now, it’s time to rebuild the relationship.
Start with:
“I’m learning to listen.”
“You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”
“I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m here now.”
Yes, talk to yourself. Say it out loud.
Your body hears you.
📓 Journal Prompt: The Somatic Reconnection Ritual
Use this to deepen the link between mind + body:
1. Where do I feel safest in my body right now?
2. Where do I feel tension, fear, or numbness?
3. What’s one way I can offer that part comfort today?
4. What does safety feel like in my body — if I could imagine it?
5. What would I say to my body if it could talk back?
⚠️ Important: Go Slow
Body-based healing can bring up a lot. Sometimes joy. Sometimes rage. Sometimes deep grief.
Don’t force the process. Don’t rush the release.
Somatic work isn’t about “fixing” your body. It’s about finally being with it.
Start with 3 minutes. One check-in. One breath. One movement.
That’s how you teach your body something new:
“This time, you’re safe. This time, I’ve got you.”
🎯 Final Word: You’re Not Broken — You’re Reconnecting
Your body isn’t betraying you.
It’s just been holding on until you were strong enough to come back.
Now?
You’re here.
You’re listening.
You’re reclaiming the wisdom in your bones, your breath, your heartbeat.
So trust the process.
Your body remembers — but it also forgives.
