“Why did he treat me like a queen in the beginning, but now ignore me completely?”

Why did he treat me like a queen in the beginning, but now ignore me completely?

The Issue:

You’re not imagining it. That switch from intense attention to soul-sucking neglect isn’t random. It’s the narcissistic abuse cycle, and this is the transition from idealization to devaluation — one of the most psychologically destabilizing experiences survivors face.

🚩 What’s Really Going On?

In the beginning, you were love-bombed.

Big words. Big gestures. Big future plans. He mirrored your dreams, fed your insecurities just enough to play savior, and created emotional intensity that felt like destiny.

But once he felt secure — once you were hooked — the game changed.

Suddenly:

• • Texts slowed.

• • Affection dried up.

• • Your “queen” status turned into servant, therapist, or ghost.

And when you try to bring it up?

You get gaslit, blamed, or brushed off like you’re the one who changed.

This isn’t a normal relationship ebb and flow.

This is a power shift. And you weren’t crazy to feel the drop — it was engineered.

🛠️ IMC Method™ Breakdown

I – Identify

What you’re experiencing is devaluation.

 

It’s not about you being less lovable — it’s about him no longer needing to pretend.

The moment your attachment felt secure, the mask started slipping.

🧠 Truth Bomb: The attention wasn’t real connection. It was strategy.

M – Minimize

The damage starts when you try harder to get the old version back.

 

STOP. That version was a mask — not a person.

Every time you perform harder, you feed the cycle.

Tactical tip:

• • Track the pattern: Is the coldness triggered when you ask for something?

• • Don’t beg for crumbs. Observe what he does when you pull back emotionally.

✍️ Journal Prompt: “What was I doing when he treated me like a queen? What changed? What did I tolerate that I wouldn’t have at the start?”

C – Control

Reclaim your power by refusing to chase the ghost of the idealization phase.

Try:

• • Reframing the “good times” as manipulation, not a lost fairytale.

• • Limiting emotional exposure: Don’t go deep when they go silent.

• • Planning your exit if this cycle repeats (spoiler: it will).

And say this out loud:

“If someone can flip a switch on how they treat me, their love was a performance, not a promise.”

💬 Final Word:

You didn’t fall in love.

You were targeted — and love was the bait.

What you’re feeling is real.

The confusion, the grief, the ache for that first version of him — that’s not weakness. That’s your intuition mourning the truth: You were never the problem.