Why do I feel like I’m losing my memory around him?
This one’s not just frustrating — it’s scary. And spoiler alert: it’s not early-onset dementia or you “being forgetful.” It’s a psychological weapon being used against you.
Let’s tear it open with the IMC Method™.
The Issue:
You’re not losing your mind.
You’re being gaslit so hard, your brain is hitting self-protection mode.
What you’re describing is a legit psychological response called “cognitive dissonance fog.”
When someone constantly:
- Denies what happened
- Rewrites conversations
- Tells you your feelings are “wrong”
- And then acts like you’re the problem…
Your brain starts to short-circuit. It becomes safer for your subconscious to blur details than constantly try to defend them.
🛠️ IMC Method™ Breakdown
I – Identify
This is textbook gaslighting.
“I never said that.”
“You always twist things.”
“You’re remembering it wrong.”
“You’re imagining stuff again.”
They aren’t just arguing — they’re erasing your sense of reality. And when that happens long enough, you stop trusting your own mind.
🚨 Red Flag: If you feel more confused after every “clarifying” talk — that’s not miscommunication. That’s manipulation.
M – Minimize
First thing? Start trusting your memory again — even if it’s shaky.
Do this:
- Keep a private journal. Write what was said, how you felt, what happened.
- Use voice memos if you don’t like writing.
- Repeat back facts to yourself in private: “I know what I saw. I know what I heard. I’m not crazy.”
✍️ Journal Prompt: “What details did I question today — and who made me question them?”
This isn’t about proving it to them. It’s about proving to you that your reality is still yours.
C – Control
The biggest shift? Stop debating what happened. That game is rigged.
Instead:
- Use phrases like: “That’s not how I experienced it.” “I remember it differently.” “You don’t have to agree with my version — but I trust what I saw.”
- Don’t ask for validation from someone invested in distorting you.
And when in doubt:
💣 If someone constantly makes you doubt your memory, the problem isn’t your memory — it’s their motives.
💬 Final Word:
You’re not losing your mind.
You’re losing your grip on a version of reality that was built by someone else — for their benefit. And that’s a good thing.
The fog you’re feeling? That’s your system trying to protect you. But now it’s time to get up and reclaim your clarity — one flash of truth at a time.