Ever Been the Butt of Their Jokes in Front of Others? That’s Public Humiliation.
You’re in a group setting, maybe with friends, family, or coworkers.
Everything seems fine—until they say something that makes you feel small.
Maybe you’ve heard:
❌ “You know how sensitive they are—can’t handle a little joke.”
❌ “I mean, we all know they’re not the smartest one in the room, right?”
❌ “Oh, you should’ve seen them try to cook last night—it was a disaster.”
❌ “Remember when you totally embarrassed yourself? That was hilarious.”
❌ “No offense, but you’re just not good at that kind of thing.”
At first, you think maybe they didn’t mean it that way.
Maybe it’s just their sense of humor.
Maybe you’re overreacting.
But then it happens again. And again. And again.
That’s public humiliation—a manipulation tactic where narcissists embarrass you in front of others to assert dominance, erode your confidence, and keep you in a submissive role.
If you’ve ever felt like they intentionally put you down when others are watching, you’ve been targeted by one of the most psychologically damaging control tactics.
Let’s break down why they do it, how it works, and how to shut it down using the IMC Method™.
What Is Public Humiliation? (And Why Narcissists Use It)
Public humiliation is not just teasing—it’s calculated character assassination. It’s used to:
✅ Make you feel powerless in social situations.
✅ Lower your confidence so you rely on them for validation.
✅ Reinforce their dominance by making others see you as weak.
It works because humans are social creatures. When someone humiliates you in front of others, it triggers deep psychological distress, shame, and a fear of rejection.
🔥 Public humiliation isn’t about jokes—it’s about psychological warfare. 🔥
How Public Humiliation Works (And Why It’s So Toxic)
Narcissists use mockery, criticism, and passive-aggressive jabs to control you.
Public Humiliation in Action: The Narcissist’s Playbook
🔹 Demeaning Jokes Disguised as Humor – They mock you, then claim they were “just kidding.”
🔹 Bringing Up Embarrassing Stories Without Your Consent – They remind everyone of your past mistakes.
🔹 Pointing Out Your Flaws in Front of Others – They comment on your appearance, intelligence, or abilities as if it’s casual conversation.
🔹 Sarcastic Put-Downs – “Oh sure, let’s trust you with that—what could go wrong?”
🔹 Interrupting or Talking Over You in Public – They make it clear that what you say isn’t important.
🔹 Questioning Your Intelligence or Competence – They “correct” you publicly to make you seem less knowledgeable.
🔹 Mocking Your Feelings – They laugh at your emotions, making it seem like you’re overreacting.
🚨 Then, the shift happens. 🚨
🔹 You feel small, embarrassed, and exposed.
🔹 You start avoiding social situations where they might embarrass you.
🔹 You hesitate to speak up because you don’t want to be ridiculed.
🔹 You accept their dominance, staying quiet to avoid humiliation.
Over time, this makes you:
⚠️ Less confident in yourself and your abilities.
⚠️ More dependent on their approval to avoid criticism.
⚠️ Afraid to be your true self in social settings.
And THAT is the goal—to break your spirit publicly so you remain controlled privately.
🔥 Public humiliation isn’t about humor—it’s about emotional destruction. 🔥
How to Respond to Public Humiliation (IMC Method™)
You don’t laugh along, shrink back, or let it slide. Why? Because public humiliation only works if you accept the role they’re trying to assign you.
Instead, you use the IMC Method™ (Identify, Minimize, Control) to call it out, shut it down, and take back your power.
1. IDENTIFY: Call Out the Manipulation
The first step is recognizing when a narcissist is using humiliation as a control tactic.
✅ Ask yourself: Was that meant to make me feel small?
✅ Notice the pattern. Do they do this regularly, especially in front of others?
✅ Trust your instincts. If it made you uncomfortable, that’s enough.
💡 Example: If they say, “Oh come on, I was just joking,” instead of brushing it off, respond with:
✔️ “A joke is funny for everyone involved. That wasn’t funny to me.”
🔥 Why It Works: You make it clear that their attempt to play it off won’t work.
2. MINIMIZE: Stop Giving Them an Audience
Public humiliation only works if they get the reaction they want.
✅ Don’t get flustered—stay calm and unbothered.
✅ Refuse to give them a stage—change the subject or disengage.
✅ If necessary, walk away rather than entertain their performance.
💡 Example: If they bring up an embarrassing story about you, instead of getting defensive, respond with:
✔️ “That’s an old story. Let’s talk about something else.”
🔥 Why It Works: You shut down the attempt to make you the center of ridicule.
3. CONTROL: Reclaim Your Dignity & Set Boundaries
Narcissists humiliate you publicly to make you feel powerless—so you take control back by making it clear that their behavior is unacceptable.
✅ Set a firm boundary that public humiliation is not tolerated.
✅ Call them out directly if they persist.
✅ If necessary, distance yourself from them completely.
💡 Example: If they repeatedly humiliate you in front of others, instead of brushing it off, respond with:
✔️ “I won’t tolerate being disrespected. If you keep doing this, I won’t be around you.”
🔥 Why It Works: You make it clear that your presence is a privilege, not an obligation.
What Happens When You Stop Playing Their Game?
When you refuse to tolerate public humiliation, the narcissist loses one of their strongest social weapons.
They might:
⚠️ Claim you’re being “overly sensitive” or “can’t take a joke.”
⚠️ Try to make you look bad by acting like they’re the victim.
⚠️ Switch to more covert control tactics (guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or triangulation).
🚨 Stay strong. Their reaction is proof that your boundaries are working.
The more you stand up for yourself, the more their control falls apart.
Final Thought: You Deserve Respect—Always.
Public humiliation is designed to strip away your confidence—but you don’t have to accept it.
✔️ You don’t have to laugh along with their insults.
✔️ You don’t have to let them define you in front of others.
✔️ You don’t have to accept public embarrassment as “just their personality.”
Respect isn’t optional. If they can’t give it, they don’t deserve access to you.
🔹 For full IMC Method™ strategies and free tools, visit our linked blog series. Tired of the Narcissistic Mind Games? Get the Tools to Break Free.