Ever Had Someone Promise You Everything—Only for Nothing to Ever Happen? That’s Future Faking.
They paint a beautiful picture of the future—a life of love, security, and happiness.
They make grand promises—the marriage, the dream house, the once-in-a-lifetime career move.
They talk about the future with such certainty—you’d be foolish not to believe them.
But then? Nothing ever happens.
Maybe you’ve heard:
❌ “We’ll get married someday, just be patient.”
❌ “I promise, next year we’ll start a new life together.”
❌ “I just need a little more time, and everything will fall into place.”
❌ “I’ll change, I swear—just give me one more chance.”
❌ “We’re going to build something incredible together.”
At first, it feels reassuring.
But over time, you start noticing the pattern—nothing ever moves forward, no real effort is made, and every excuse keeps you waiting.
That’s future faking—a narcissistic manipulation tactic where they make empty promises to keep you emotionally invested while giving you nothing in return.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship where hope was dangled like a carrot just out of reach, you’ve been targeted by one of the most insidious relationship tactics in narcissism.
Let’s break down why they do it, how it affects you, and how to shut it down using the IMC Method™.
What Is Future Faking? (And Why Narcissists Do It)
Future faking is not about genuine intentions—it’s about control. It’s used to:
✅ Buy themselves more time while keeping you emotionally invested.
✅ Keep you from leaving by making you believe “better days” are ahead.
✅ Control your emotions by making you focus on an illusion rather than reality.
It works because most people assume that promises mean something. The narcissist exploits this by saying exactly what you want to hear, with no intention of following through.
🔥 Future faking isn’t about love—it’s about emotional leash-keeping. 🔥
How Future Faking Works (And Why It’s So Destructive)
Narcissists use sweet talk, grand gestures, and vague timelines to make sure you stay put while they enjoy the benefits of the relationship—without real commitment.
Future Faking in Action: The Narcissist’s Playbook
🔹 Romantic Future Faking – “One day, we’ll have the perfect wedding and family.” (But no plans are ever made.)
🔹 Career Future Faking – “I’ll get that big promotion soon, and then we’ll be set.” (But they never put in the work.)
🔹 Personal Growth Future Faking – “I’ll go to therapy, I swear—I just need time.” (But they never actually do.)
🔹 Breakup Prevention Future Faking – “Just give me one more chance. Things will be different this time.” (But they always revert back.)
🔹 Using Future Promises to Justify Bad Behavior – “I’ll start treating you better once my stress at work settles down.”
🚨 Then, the shift happens. 🚨
🔹 You keep waiting, believing that “someday” will come.
🔹 You ignore red flags because you’re emotionally invested in the vision of the future.
🔹 You start feeling guilty for doubting them—after all, they keep “reassuring” you.
🔹 You lose months, years, even decades in a cycle of waiting for things to change.
Over time, this makes you:
⚠️ Feel like you’ve wasted valuable time and energy.
⚠️ Doubt yourself, wondering if you’re being too impatient or ungrateful.
⚠️ Cling to hope, even when all evidence shows they will never follow through.
And THAT is the goal—to keep you locked in place, waiting for a dream that will never come.
🔥 Future faking isn’t about intention—it’s about keeping you from leaving. 🔥
How to Respond to Future Faking (IMC Method™)
You don’t keep waiting, justify their excuses, or believe their words over their actions. Why? Because future faking only works if you stay emotionally invested in the fantasy.
Instead, you use the IMC Method™ (Identify, Minimize, Control) to recognize the game, set deadlines, and walk away when promises remain empty.
1. IDENTIFY: Spot the Pattern (And Stop Making Excuses for Them)
The first step is recognizing when their words don’t match their actions.
✅ Ask yourself: Have they followed through on past promises?
✅ Notice the pattern. Do they always give vague timelines?
✅ Trust your instincts. If something feels like an excuse, it probably is.
💡 Example: If they say, “We’ll get married someday, just be patient,” instead of accepting it, respond with:
✔️ “I need a real timeline, not just words. If you’re serious, let’s set a date.”
🔥 Why It Works: You force them to commit or expose their lie.
2. MINIMIZE: Stop Waiting for Change That Never Comes
Future faking only works if you continue believing in their promises.
✅ Don’t make major life decisions based on their empty words.
✅ Set a deadline for real action—if nothing happens, move on.
✅ Recognize that they won’t change because they don’t have to—you’re still there.
💡 Example: If they claim, “Next year, things will be different,” instead of hoping, respond with:
✔️ “I need actions, not promises. I won’t keep waiting indefinitely.”
🔥 Why It Works: You put the pressure back on them to prove themselves.
3. CONTROL: Walk Away When They Fail to Deliver
Narcissists use future faking to keep you from leaving—so you take control by refusing to stick around for empty promises.
✅ Hold them accountable—actions over words.
✅ Decide how long you’re willing to wait (if at all).
✅ Be prepared to walk away if nothing changes.
💡 Example: If they keep making excuses, instead of arguing, respond with:
✔️ “If we’re not moving forward, I need to rethink this relationship.”
🔥 Why It Works: You show them that manipulation won’t keep you trapped.
What Happens When You Stop Playing Their Game?
When you stop believing their empty promises, the narcissist loses one of their strongest control tactics.
They might:
⚠️ Make bigger, even more extravagant promises, hoping to suck you back in.
⚠️ Turn it around on you, acting like you “expect too much.”
⚠️ Accuse you of not being patient or supportive enough.
🚨 Stay strong. Their reaction is proof that they never intended to follow through.
The more you demand real action, the quicker their illusion falls apart.
Final Thought: Love Is Shown in Actions—Not Empty Words
Future faking is designed to keep you emotionally trapped—but you don’t have to wait around for something that will never come.
✔️ You don’t have to wait for someone who never follows through.
✔️ You don’t have to accept promises that never turn into action.
✔️ You don’t have to keep believing in a fantasy while they enjoy the present.
If they meant it, they’d prove it. If they don’t, you’re better off without them.
🔹 For full IMC Method™ strategies and free tools, visit our linked blog series. Tired of the Narcissistic Mind Games? Get the Tools to Break Free.