Healing in Public: Why Telling Your Story Sets You Free

Abuse No MoreHealing & RecoveryJune 12, 2025

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Healing in Public: Why Telling Your Story Sets You Free

🗣️ When Silence Feels Safer — But Isn’t

Let’s be honest:

You’ve probably wanted to tell your story.

Not for revenge. Not for pity. But because holding it in feels like choking on your own truth.

And yet…

“What if they say I’m making it up?”

“What if no one believes me?”

“What if I sound bitter or broken?”

“What if it hurts too much to say it out loud?”

Here’s the reframe that changed everything for me:

You don’t tell your story to be believed. You tell it to be free.

This article is for the survivors ready to use their voice — online, offline, in therapy, in writing, in whispers or war cries — and why doing so is not just healing…

…it’s revolutionary.

🧠 Why Narcissistic Abuse Silences You

The narcissist doesn’t just harm you — they gaslight you into silence.

They deny your reality
They tell you it’s all in your head
They threaten your reputation if you speak
They weaponize your own emotions against you
They convince others you’re the unstable one

So you stop talking.

You doubt your own memory.

You replay every argument like a courtroom transcript.

And eventually? You bury it.

But trauma doesn’t die in silence.

It festers.

🔓 The Power of Speaking Up (Even If Only to Yourself)

When you put your experience into words, you do two things:

You validate your reality
You give shape to the shapeless

That tangle of confusion, grief, fear, shame? It becomes language. And once you name it — you own it. It’s no longer owning you.

💥 What Happens When You Share Your Story

1. You Step Out of the Fog

Naming the abuse gives it definition.

And once you define it, you stop internalizing it.

You go from:

“I’m crazy”

To:

“That was gaslighting. That was a manipulation tactic.”

Naming gives you distance. And from that distance? Power.

2. You Break Isolation

Abuse thrives in isolation. Shame grows in silence.

Your story cracks the lie that you’re alone.

You say it — and someone else whispers: “Me too.”

That’s community. That’s clarity. That’s a lifeline.

3. You Reclaim Your Narrative

The narcissist got their version out first. They always do.

They tell people you were the unstable one.

They shape how others see you.

And worst of all? They shape how you see you.

Telling your story — on your terms — takes that power back.

You go from character to author.

🛠️ How to Tell Your Story Safely (Without Re-Traumatizing Yourself)

1. Choose Your Format

You don’t need a blog or a book deal. Telling your story can look like:

Writing in a private journal
Recording voice notes
Sharing anonymously on survivor forums
Speaking to a therapist or coach
Posting on social media (if and when you’re ready)
Submitting a survivor story to a platform like Abuse No More

There is no “right” way — only your way.

2. Use the 3-Part Safety Frame

Before you speak, ask:

🔒 Is this safe for my nervous system?

🧠 Am I regulated enough to reflect, not relive?

🗣️ Am I sharing from healing, not proving?

If the answer to any of those is “no,” pause. Not forever — just until you’re ready.

3. Don’t Overshare to Be Believed

You don’t owe the internet, your family, or your ex’s flying monkeys the worst details of your trauma.

Start with:

“Here’s what I went through.”

“Here’s how I’m healing.”

“Here’s what I’ve learned.”

“Here’s what I want others to know.”

Validation comes from within. Not from likes or comments.

4. Expect Emotional Whiplash (And Have a Recovery Plan)

You might cry.

You might feel rage.

You might feel numb.

You might even regret it for a minute.

That’s normal.

That’s processing.

Your recovery kit:

Comfort item (blanket, journal, pet, sauna wrap)
Music that grounds you
One trusted person you can call
A self-written letter that says, “You’re okay. You’re allowed to tell the truth.”