“Why does he disappear when I’m struggling or need support?”

Why does he disappear when I’m struggling or need support

The Issue:

You’re in pain. Something’s happened. You’re overwhelmed, scared, stressed, or grieving.

And instead of leaning in with support?

He ghosts.

Goes cold.

Goes quiet.

Suddenly too busy.

Or worse — acts annoyed that you’re “too emotional.”

Let’s be clear: This isn’t conflict avoidance. This is emotional abandonment by design.

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🛠️ IMC Method™ Breakdown

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✅ 

I – Identify

This is strategic neglect.

Not accidental. Not clueless. Intentional.

Why? Because:

• Your pain isn’t useful to him.
• Your vulnerability isn’t “attractive” to him.
• Your needs threaten his control.

So he disappears to:

• Punish you for being human
• Make you second-guess reaching out again
• Train you to suffer silently

🚨 Red Flag: If every emotional need gets met with silence or distance, you’re not in a relationship — you’re in a power imbalance.

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✅ 

M – Minimize

The trap is to chase. To beg. To explain why you’re hurting.

But that reinforces the pattern: “I only get love when I’m perfectly composed.”

Instead:

• Name it internally: “This is punishment, not peace.”
• Don’t try to “earn” their support — they’re choosing to withhold it.
• Start building your external support system — even one safe person changes the game.

✍️ Journal Prompt: “What did I need? How did he respond? What message did that send me about my worth?”

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✅ 

C – Control

Your feelings are not burdens.

Your struggles are not weakness.

And anyone who treats them that way is not safe.

Try:

• “When I’m in pain and you disappear, I feel abandoned — and that’s not okay.”
• “I need emotional support from my partner. If that’s not something you’re willing to offer, I need to rethink this relationship.”
• Or simply: Withdraw your emotional access from someone who treats it like a threat.

💣 If someone disappears during your darkest moments, don’t forget it when they reappear in your light.

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💬 Final Word:

You’re not “too much.”

You’re not “dramatic.”

You’re not “needy.”

You’re a human being — and real connection shows up when things get hard, not when it’s convenient.

Let him disappear.

You’re not broken. He’s just not built to carry anything but his ego.

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