Ever Had Someone Hide Important Information from You—Just to Keep You Guessing? That’s Withholding Information.
They act vague when you ask direct questions.
They “forget” to tell you things that affect you.
They control the flow of information—so you’re always the last to know.
Withholding information can be a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to maintain power over you.
And when you find out?
💥 They act like it’s no big deal.
Maybe you’ve heard:
❌ “Oh, I thought you already knew.”
❌ “It wasn’t important enough to mention.”
❌ “You didn’t ask the right way.”
❌ “I didn’t think it mattered to you.”
❌ “You’re overreacting—I was going to tell you eventually.”
At first, you brush it off.
Then, you notice the pattern—they consistently leave you out of the loop.
And before you know it, you feel dependent on them for even basic information, like they hold the keys to what you’re allowed to know.
That’s withholding information—a narcissistic manipulation tactic where they control access to knowledge so you remain confused, uncertain, and reliant on them.
If you’ve ever felt like someone in your life deliberately keeps you in the dark, leaving out crucial details or making you work for even the most basic facts, you’ve been targeted by one of the most calculated power plays in narcissism.
Let’s break down why they do it, how it affects you, and how to shut it down using the IMC Method™.
What Is Withholding Information? (And Why Narcissists Do It)
Withholding information is not forgetfulness—it’s control. It’s used to:
✅ Keep you dependent on them for answers.
✅ Limit your ability to make informed decisions.
✅ Ensure they have power over what you know (and don’t know).
It works because most people assume that when someone cares about them, they’ll communicate openly. The narcissist exploits this by rationing information, making you feel uncertain and off-balance.
🔥 Withholding information isn’t about miscommunication—it’s about manipulation. 🔥
How Withholding Information Works (And Why It’s So Destructive)
Narcissists use selective honesty, half-truths, and outright silence to keep control over situations.
Withholding Information in Action: The Narcissist’s Playbook
🔹 Hiding Important Details – Conveniently leaving out key information that would allow you to make informed decisions.
🔹 Being Vague or Evasive – Dodging direct questions with non-answers or subject changes.
🔹 Pretending They Forgot – Acting like they just “accidentally” didn’t mention something crucial.
🔹 Keeping Secrets That Affect You – Not telling you about events, agreements, or conversations that involve you.
🔹 Drip-Feeding You the Truth – Revealing information only when it benefits them or when they have no other choice.
🔹 Acting Like You Should Have Known – Blaming you for not figuring things out yourself, even though they hid it.
🚨 Then, the shift happens. 🚨
🔹 You start second-guessing yourself—wondering if you’re being too needy.
🔹 You feel left out, like you’re always playing catch-up.
🔹 You become more dependent on them for information, since they control the details.
🔹 You feel powerless, like they know things you don’t—and they like it that way.
Over time, this makes you:
⚠️ More reliant on them for clarity.
⚠️ Less confident in your ability to make decisions.
⚠️ Easier to manipulate, since you don’t have the full picture.
And THAT is the goal—to make sure you never have enough knowledge to fully stand on your own.
🔥 Withholding information isn’t forgetfulness—it’s strategy. 🔥
How to Respond to Withholding Information (IMC Method™)
You don’t beg for clarity, accept vague answers, or let them decide what you get to know. Why? Because withholding information only works if you rely on them as your source of truth.
Instead, you use the IMC Method™ (Identify, Minimize, Control) to call out their secrecy, find your own sources, and remove their power over your access to information.
1. IDENTIFY: Recognize When They’re Controlling Information
The first step is noticing when they’re intentionally keeping you in the dark.
✅ Ask yourself: Are they consistently vague, evasive, or forgetful?
✅ Notice the pattern. Do they only tell you things when it benefits them?
✅ Trust your instincts. If something feels hidden, it probably is.
💡 Example: If they say, “Oh, I thought you knew about that,” instead of accepting it, respond with:
✔️ “No, I didn’t. And I’d appreciate being included in things that involve me.”
🔥 Why It Works: You hold them accountable without sounding accusatory.
2. MINIMIZE: Stop Relying on Them for Information
Withholding information only works if you depend on them for details.
✅ Find alternative sources—talk to others, research things yourself.
✅ Refuse to play the guessing game—demand clear answers.
✅ Create a habit of verifying information from multiple sources.
💡 Example: If they say, “I didn’t think it was important,” instead of defending why you should’ve been told, respond with:
✔️ “I’ll decide what’s important to me. Just be honest next time.”
🔥 Why It Works: You make it clear that you expect transparency.
3. CONTROL: Set Boundaries & Refuse to Be Left in the Dark
Narcissists withhold information to control you—so you take control by ensuring they don’t get to decide what you know.
✅ Set a clear boundary that secrecy isn’t acceptable.
✅ Refuse to engage in conversations where they dodge questions.
✅ Distance yourself from those who intentionally keep you uninformed.
💡 Example: If they continue withholding information, instead of getting frustrated, respond with:
✔️ “If you can’t be upfront with me, I’ll have to find someone who can.”
🔥 Why It Works: You show them that secrecy isn’t a tool they can use to control you.
What Happens When You Stop Playing Their Game?
When you refuse to let them be your “gatekeeper” of knowledge, the narcissist loses one of their easiest ways to control you.
They might:
⚠️ Pretend they’re hurt that you “don’t trust them.”
⚠️ Accuse you of being “paranoid” or “making a big deal out of nothing.”
⚠️ Shift blame—insisting that YOU “should’ve known.”
🚨 Stay strong. Their reaction is proof that they rely on keeping you in the dark.
The more you demand transparency and seek your own sources, the weaker their control becomes.
Knowledge Is Power—Don’t Let Them Take It from You
Withholding information is designed to make you feel lost, confused, and dependent—but you don’t have to accept it.
✔️ You don’t have to accept half-truths or vague explanations.
✔️ You don’t have to feel guilty for wanting clear, honest answers.
✔️ You don’t have to let someone decide what you’re allowed to know.
If they were truly on your side, they wouldn’t keep you in the dark.
🔹 For full IMC Method™ strategies and free tools, visit our linked blog series. Tired of the Narcissistic Mind Games? Get the Tools to Break Free.